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Report: Whether Over Money or Sex, Lying is Lying in Marriage

On Behalf of | Jan 7, 2011 | Divorce

Have you ever bought something and intentionally hid that purchase from your spouse? Maybe you have a pair of shoes that were too good of a deal to pass up. Maybe you couldn’t help to believe that the new Apple gadget was a must for you and worth your money. But are such secret purchases worth the potential downfall of your marriage?

MSNBC recently reported on a national survey that looked at married couples’ spending habits and found that infidelity comes in a form other than sex. Financial infidelity might be less scandalous and less physically harmful to an unsuspecting partner, but relationship professionals claim that secret spending is a form of cheating that can also lead to divorce. Trust is important in a marriage; that secret pair of shoes or hidden gadget represents a violation of trust within a relationship.

An organization called CESI Debt Solutions conducted the marriage and spending study. Of the 200 people surveyed, the research showed that 80 percent of them have lied to their spouses about spending. Almost 20 percent of the group has gone so far as to having secret credit cards. These statistics are serious because they prove a widespread abuse of trust among marriages that could lead to high conflict divorce.

If you can relate to the 80 percent of the people surveyed who admit to secret spending, professionals suggest that you check your behavior. Loving your spouse means not wanting to hurt them and, “Financial infidelity can be as bad as sexual infidelity in terms of the hurt and destruction it causes.” Especially in the current U.S. economy, secret spending can be extremely damaging to not only trust but to the financial stability of a family.

What do you think? If you found out that your spouse was lying to you about his or her purchases, would you be mad, hurt or both? Does secret spending sound to you like a valid reason to get a divorce? Why or why not? Are you a secret spender? Why or why not?


TODAY.msnbc: “American couples have a dirty little secret,” 27 Dec. 2010


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