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Blindsided by divorce? 3 things to keep in mind

Some couples discuss filing for divorce for months or even years before taking any steps to end their marriages. However, for others, the news comes like a very unwelcome bolt from the blue when they get served with divorce papers.

If the later scenario is what you are facing now, you may need some help putting the dissolution of your marriage in the proper perspective. Yes, it is perfectly natural to feel as if this is the end of the world. but in reality, although one chapter of your life may be ending, that paves the way for an entirely new episode to begin. Below are three things to keep in mind as you go forward through the divorce process.

1. You can turn sour grapes into fine wine

It may be impossible to imagine now, but you could have a very happy and fulfilling second act ahead of you. Regardless of the circumstances of the demise of your marriage, you still have a lot of life to live. While it may be far too soon for you to view this as the opportunity that it can indeed be, now can be a great time to take stock.

What have you always wanted to do but couldn't or didn't? You can use this transitional period to better position yourself for what lies ahead. If you left your career to be a homemaker, wife and mother, for instance, make sure that your divorce settlement includes rehabilitative alimony to allow you to return to school to update your training in your chosen field. Or perhaps you want to enter a new field entirely. Lay the groundwork now.

2. Determine which marital assets will help you move forward

Many people in the throes of divorce fight tooth and nail to remain in the family home. While that might be a good idea if you are younger with children still in the home, for an older person, a large home with expensive upkeep can become an albatross around their neck.

Instead, it might be better to fight for a larger piece of the pension pie or even the Galveston beach house where you know the kids and grandchildren will congregate for years to come. Your Bellaire family law attorney can help guide your choices during this time.

3. Short-term therapy can be very helpful now

Grieving the loss of your marriage is normal and expected. But grief can also become a yoke that holds you back from the personal growth that awaits you. A counselor with experience helping others over the hurdles of divorce can help you sort out your feelings and move through the grief appropriately. Your divorce attorney or family physician may be able to recommend a therapist for you if necessary.

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