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Your strong emotions could lead to major divorce mistakes

On Behalf of | Jan 31, 2020 | Divorce

There are many reasons why hiring an experienced divorce attorney to assist you in ending your marriage is a good idea, but the intense emotions people experience could be the best reasons of all.

When emotion overpowers reason, you can make mistakes that could drastically impact the outcome of your divorce. Attempting to navigate negotiations and court on your own could mean falling victim to your own emotional nature instead of securing a positive outcome.

The anger and frustration you feel during divorce are best handled in therapy or a similar safe setting, not addressed or unleashed in the courtroom. Letting your emotions run away with you could potentially impact your divorce proceedings and make things that much harder for you.

Angry people can seem violent or irrational

You may know that your anger and frustration are justified based on the circumstances you’ve experienced, but the courts won’t know whether your behavior during the divorce is indicative of who you are overall or just who you are in this moment of intense stress. The courts will have very little to go on other than your behavior in court and the claims made by your ex.

If you become irrational, angry or threatening in court, the courts may perceive you as potentially dangerous to your children. They may also be more likely to believe otherwise unsubstantiated claims of abuse or misbehavior. Although such behavior may not impact asset division, it could have an impact on custody.

Don’t use the courts to exact any kind of revenge

The courts are there to help people make legal changes and seek justice, not for those who want to get revenge against an ex. A recent divorce filing out of Iowa perfectly exemplifies how strong emotions can lead to bad decisions during divorce.

Frustrated with the legal tactics of his wife’s divorce attorney, the gentleman in question requested a trial by combat from the state family courts. He has since stated that his intention was to highlight the absurd tactics of his spouse’s attorney, but all he succeeded in doing was making himself seem potentially dangerous. The wife’s attorney indicated they would ask courts to order a psychiatric evaluation and end visitation with his children because of that single filing.

Having someone else manage the details can give you space to process

Coping with the intense emotions that come up during divorce isn’t always easy, especially if you try to handle everything on your own. Your lawyer serves not only as a buffer between your emotional reactions and your legal decisions but also as a source of support during this difficult time. If you let your anger get the best of you, a lawyer could help you reevaluate your intentions and also convince you not to make decisions in a moment of emotional volatility.


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