Having a child with your spouse ushers in a new phase of your lives. It will be filled with love and growth as you learn to care for your family’s new addition, but for many parents, it also precedes new stress and contention. While friends congratulate you on your new arrival, you may find that your marriage is struggling under the pressure of expectations and parenthood. Needless to say, you are not alone.
Babble cites research from the Relationship Research Institute indicating that for parents who were married at the time of birth, 13 percent of their marriages will result in divorce. If you are a new parent who is considering divorce, there are a few things you should know about your situation.
1. Assess your relationship
Welcoming a baby into your home is obviously a joyous but stressful occasion. The spike in stress might lead you to believe that your relationship is in danger, when you may simply be responding to the adjustment to parenthood. Rather than blaming your spouse, carefully consider whether your problems stem from your marriage or whether they are related to your newfound responsibilities as a parent.
2. Consider all options
After considering your relationship, you may find that the issues persist beyond parenting. If there are indeed cracks in the foundation of your marriage, you should research all options for addressing the problem. Couples counseling and temporary separation may be potential solutions to consider prior to proceeding with a divorce.
3. Customize custody
If you come to the conclusion that divorce is the best course of action, new parents will understandably be concerned about custody arrangements. The first few years of your child’s life are some of the more important, and you want to ensure that your child has support from two loving parents. Divorce does not have to compromise this. In fact, there are many options for customizing a custody plan that works for you, your child and your ex.