As any qualified family law attorney will tell you, acting out of anger during divorce proceedings is not wise. It leads to a longer divorce, meaning higher legal fees, additional court dates, more negative effects on children and likely an unsatisfactory outcome.
However, feelings of anger are common and legitimate, says Psychology Today. It is normal to be upset over the end of your marriage and/or the way your ex behaves during the breakup. Whether the divorce process has yet to begin or you are in the middle of litigation, use these tips to keep your anger under control.
The best thing you can do during divorce no matter how you feel is to see a therapist. You can work out your emotions and learn effective ways to cope with stress, resentment, depression and disappointment. For example, exercise can help release anger, and meditation can help you get to the root of your anger and be compassionate toward yourself.
Wait it out
Whenever you are feeling angry toward your ex, do not interact with him or her. Wait until you have used one of your tools first, such as talking to a trusted individual. Only express your emotions to and respond to contact from your former spouse once you are in a calm and rational state. Do not engage in arguments if your ex chooses to react in anger.
Keep the children out of it
You may feel tempted to vent to your children about their other parent, but doing so only harms their relationship with both of you. Keep them out of the divorce battle. They will benefit from seeing you handle the divorce through healthy means.
Choose your battles
Of course, managing your anger does not mean letting your ex walk all over you in the divorce. Some things are worth fighting for. Decide what those things are with your attorney and approach the matter in a persistent but non-contentious manner.