Divorce can be difficult. A couple who began married life committed to a lifetime together can end up dividing belongings and finances. For families with kids involved, the many aspects of divorce and custody can be confusing and confounding.
A whole host of emotions comes along with the divorce, and many children want their parents to know how they feel about it.
The kids want you to know that the divorce belongs to you, not to them. No matter how deeply you dislike your ex-spouse, gossiping about your ex-spouse is a big mistake when you do it around your children. Projecting your bad feelings onto the children’s relationships is not a good idea, either. They didn’t divorce; you did.
Children do not have an opinion on who got what in the divorce. Caring more about possessions than family is an error that needs to be avoided.
One of the concerns that worry children of divorce is that the level of protection will not be maintained as it had been. Having a new “significant other” who disciplines the children is a major no-no and can cause children to lose trust in you. When you start dating again, the kids may not always like him or her. Don’t push, and don’t pick sides if there is a disagreement.
When you and your ex-spouse discuss visitation and child custody, it is best to do it away from the kids because they may interpret the conversation negatively. They may believe that you see them as possessions to be handled instead of as your children.
Avoid telling your kids they are being too dramatic over the divorce. They are disappointed, and their life is upset.
Following a course of discipline that is agreeable with both you and your ex-spouse can give much-needed peace and tranquility to the children.
Divorce is hard and when children are included, open communication is important. Contacting an experienced professional who can guide you through a low-stress divorce may be an option you want to explore.
Source: huffington Post, “12 things kids think about divorce but are too afraid to say” Tara Kennedy, Apr. 20, 2014