Moving on after a divorce can be challenging for many reasons. In part one of this series we discussed a counselor’s advice, including how picking up where you left off before you were married might not be the best or easiest option.
The experiences of marriage and divorce change you, and it’s important to take the time to find what you really need to move forward in your life and find the happiness you deserve as the person you are now. Following are a couple of more tips about intentionally starting over after divorce.
While self-reflection is definitely a key component of achieving the new life you are meant to live, finding others that will support you is also important. While you may find some of your friends and family have a good understanding of what you are going through, it’s important to spend time with people who are positive and help you stay positive about your future. Complaining about your ex may be tempting, but ultimately the negativity is toxic. If you don’t find positive influences readily available, go and find new ones. Taking time to volunteer or take a community class are both good ways to introduce yourself to a fresh perspective.
As you spend more and more time nurturing the new you and finding others that support you, you will begin to discover your passion and how you want to pursue it. Your new dreams may have some elements of old dreams, but you will likely find that they have new twists you didn’t expect.
Don’t be afraid to let yourself be surprised and let your life go on tangents you may not have expected. Whatever dreams emerge, make a healthy plan to make them a reality. Going through a divorce does not have to define you, but the fresh perspective you gain from the experience can fuel a side of you that you may not have known existed and help you live the life you were meant to live.
The Huffington Post: “The Power of Intentions – Thriving Through Divorce,” Melanie Gorman, Jan. 10, 2012