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When “I do” Leads to “Not tonight,” Is Divorce the Right Option?

On Behalf of | Jul 8, 2010 | Divorce

Want some advice on how to either avoid divorce or decide if divorce is a healthy option? Reevaluate your job and other everyday norms that add stress to your life and decide whether your stresses are more important than your marriage.


A recent study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that there is a significant correlation between when women have sex and the amount of stress in their lives. So not only is work affecting women’s state of minds, but it’s affecting the state of their marriages.

There are two kinds of people: Those who view sex as a stress reliever and those who avoid sex due to stress. The study followed more than 100 women and had them keep journals about their days, stresses and sex lives. Those with the highest amount of stress in their day-to-day lives reported less sexual activity and less happiness in their relationships.

Not to add to the stress of the already stressed, but by avoiding intimacy with their partners due to work and stress, they could be driving their marriage towards divorce or overlooking a difficult reality. A personal and intimate connection with a spouse is important to keeping a marriage intact, or at least more important for some than others.

So for those who are in the group that puts sex after their careers or other daily stresses, perhaps they need to put themselves in their spouse’s shoes. Are they neglecting their needs and the overall needs of a marriage? Is meeting those needs and saving their marriages more important than other areas of their lives? If so, they should make the necessary changes to their relationships and careers in order to preserve their unions.

However, some might not value their marriages more than their careers. They might even experience extra stress because they want to devote more time to other areas of their lives but feel obligated to their spouses.

If that is the case, then it would be wise for them to accept that and discuss the option of divorce with their partners. Not only would divorce allow them to devote themselves to work guilt-free, but their partners who need more intimacy in a marriage would get the chance they deserve to find happiness with someone else.  


The Wall Street Journal, The Juggler Blog: “Not Tonight, Dear. I’m Too Stressed Out”


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