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Divorcing after the children are out of the house

A very common reason that parents in Texas will continue to try to make a difficult marriage last is for the benefit of the children. When the problems persist but the children are out of the house, some couples make the decision to part ways. Within the last two decades, the rate of couples over the age of 50 divorcing has almost doubled.

The impact on children is always considered in a divorce -- whether it is regarding child custody, visitation, support payments or just the child's overall emotional wellbeing. Children are always a very relevant party in any divorce, regardless of the child's age. For many, such potential impacts result in a couple delaying filing for divorce. While it may be easier for an adult child to understand what is going on, that by no means indicates that it will be easier for them to accept.

It is often the case that adult children will feel like their entire memory of their childhood has been unsettled. Just as a younger child may worry that the divorce was his or her fault, adult children can similarly harbor guilt over feeling like their parents stayed in an unhappy relationship for the benefit of them.

For parents with adult children that make the decision to divorce, it is important to be sensitive to the range of emotions that an adult child may experience. It is important for the parent to remember that while he or she is grieving the end and a large life change, so too is their adult child. Further, it is important for the parent to refrain from making their child into a therapist. Even though the child may be an adult and better equipped to process such emotions associated with a divorce, it is important for both parents to remember to respect the boundaries of their children.

Source: The Huffington Post, "How to Rebuild Your Relationship with Your Adult Children after Your Divorce," Katie Saint, Oct. 25, 2012

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